I saw this story on Yahoo today and have been having a good time laughing about it every since.

SAN FRANCISCO - The number of Arabic linguists discharged from the military for violating its "don't ask, don't tell" policy is higher than previously reported, according to records obtained by a research group.
The group contends the records show that the military — at a time when it and U.S. intelligence agencies don't have enough Arabic speakers — is putting its anti-gay stance ahead of national security.
Between 1998 and 2004, the military discharged 20 Arabic and six Farsi speakers, according to Department of Defense (news - le="color:#ff0000;">web sites) data obtained by the Center for the Study of Sexual Minorities in the Military under a Freedom of Information Act request.
The military previously confirmed that seven translators who specialized in Arabic had been discharged between 1998 and 2003 because they were gay. The military did not break down the discharges by year, but said some, but not all, of the additional 13 discharges of Arabic speakers occurred in 2004.
Aaron Belkin, the center's director, said he wants the public to see the real costs of "don't ask, don't tell."
"We had a language problem after 9/11 and we still have a language problem," Belkin said Wednesday.
The military's "don't ask, don't tell" policy allows gays and lesbians to serve in the military as long as they keep their sexual orientation private and do not engage in homosexual acts.
"The military is placing homophobia well ahead of national security," said Steve Ralls, spokesman for the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network, a nonprofit group that advocates for the rights of gay military members. "It's rather appalling that in the weeks leading up to 9/11 messages were coming in, waiting to be translated ... and at the same time they were firing people who could've done that job."
But others, like Elaine Donnelly of the Center for Military Readiness, a conservative advocacy group that opposes gays serving in the military, said the discharged linguists never should have been accepted at the elite Defense Language Institute in Monterey in the first place.
"Resources unfortunately were used to train young people who were not eligible to be in the military," she said.
In the fiscal year ended Sept. 30, 543 Arabic linguists and 166 Farsi linguists graduated from their 63-week courses, according to a DLI spokesman. That was up from 377 and 139, respectively, in the previous year.
Experts have identified the shortage of Arabic linguists as contributing to the government's failure to thwart the Sept. 11 attacks. The independent Sept. 11 commission made similar conclusions.
Ian Finkenbinder, an Army Arabic linguist who graduated from the Defense Language Institute in 2002, was discharged from the military last month after announcing to his superiors that he's gay. Finkenbinder, who said his close friends in the Army already knew he was gay, served eight months in Iraq (news - web sites) and was about to return for a second tour when he made the revelation official.
"I looked at myself and said, `Are you willing to go to war with an institution that won't recognize that you have the right to live as you want to,'" said Finkenbinder, 22, who now lives in Baltimore. "It just got to be tiresome to deal with that — to constantly have such a significant part of your life under scrutiny."
The Servicemembers Legal Defense Network last month sued the government on behalf of 12 other gay former military members seeking reinstatement. They argue that "don't ask, don't tell" violates their constitutional rights.
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There are so many sides to this small story, but leave to This Man to tackle all sides. I'm sure I'm going to offend someone, either those in the military or those that are gay and in the military. But it's just that after reading this and coming up with as many jokes as I could (and believe me, some of them bordered on just plain awful), I did go back and take note of the content and after the tenth time, I still couldn't get past the fact that in 2005, the military still refuses to accept the fact that some of it's men and women march to a different drum (and if anyone suddenly had the urge to say, "what if it's a Cher remix, I swear I would loose it).
Let's go back to when This Sailor came into the military (we'll get to closets later, just bear with me). It was in 1994 back when recruiters could and would ask you if you'd ever engaged in any sexual activity with a person of the same sex. And you were expected to answer. Sure that question is a bit disturbing--especially when you're a 19 year old male, who'd only had sex with one other person. So nervously I did. Fortunately at the time, it was with a young lady.
Moving onward.
It wasn't until a couple of years later when Bill Clinton was in office that gays in the military was outed and brought into the spotlight. And even then, none of my friends or myself could really figure out what the big deal was. Let's face it, when in the face of danger or even in the normal routine of military life, is it really important who the man or woman next to you is sleeping with? As I've progressed in my thinking and beliefs as well as moved up and around in this military institution, the conversation of gays in the military has come up many times. I've heard some complain that they would feel uncomfortable if they knew that one of their co-workers were gay and some really didn't care. Then of course there were those who felt it necessary to point out that they just couldn't fathom the thought of another man checking them out while in close confined spaces. To which I would assure them that they had absolutely nothing to worry about. I mean, if the straight women would have nothing to do with them, what makes them wonder if a gay man would? Ugh!
Okay, I've wondered way off the subject.
What was it?
Right, Farsi and homos (for an instant, I wanted to say Farsi and Faggots, but I could hear the Offensive siren so I had to pass on that one). But now let's talk about Don't Ask Don't Tell and where This Man stands on that issue. I'll regale you, dear readers, with a nice example with a moral at the end. And, I'll do it in less than 6 sentences (place your bets). In 1997, a friend of mine, whom I was stationed with in Washington, wanted to get out of the Navy and go back to the fast life of prostitution in Baltimore. He and I argued about this on many occasions and even his mother got involed, begging me to convince him that he was about to make a bad decision. So we continued to argue back and forth and on and on, but ultimately here's what he did.
He went to our Master-At-Arms (police, for you civilians) and told them that he was gay and that he was a prostitute. He was discharged immediately.
Don't Ask; Don't Tell.
The Navy didn't ask him, he told them.
Another story. In the three duty stations where This Man has served, I know there have been on occasion many speculation about my sexuality (to tell the truth, I kinda like that). "Is he gay? He doesn't seem straight. He has a son. He was married, I thought." And on and on they go. I hear the talk and I've even had some bold friends come up to me and politely tell me that there was talk going around about me. I mean, even I was intrigued! Hell, I wanted to know if That Man was a homo! Now here's the catch, in the middle of all of that talk and speculation, none of my friends or co-workers ever asked me if the rumors were true.
They didn't ask and I sure as hell, didn't tell.
So my point on top of this whole story is this. I'm jealous! There's a whole world of men that I could've been friends with and learned a new language at the same time. Is there no love in the gay community? No, This Man holds the "Don't Ask; Don't Tell" policy to the letter. In other words, keep your mouth closed. There are some things that we should take to the grave and then there are some things that just really aren't anyone's business and that includes who I or you are sleeping with. I like to keep things professional in my workplace. I don't blab about how my weekends were, the latest man that I've met or am dating or any of that nonsense. Because just as I don't want to hear about Joe Hetero's latest conquests, I sure as hell don't bring up my own.
So after reading that article one last time, I still hold true to what I'm about to say and it may sound a bit insensitive. The queens who were discharged from the military were let go because they felt the need to disclose their personal situation. And just like one of their good friends would have told them over cocktails, This Man says, "Had you only kept your mouth closed, then you wouldn't have found yourself in that situation. Next time just shut the fuck up."

Mahalo!