You think your life is fucked up? Try living a piece of mine.



The Treadmill Ramblings

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This evening, as This Man pulled into the parking lot of my gym, I decided that I would attempt to mentally record the silly and unbelievable thoughts that run through my head during the 25 minutes that I'm on the treadmill. While this train of thought will dash from topic to topic and may even be a bit ridiculous, This Man felt that it would be entertaining to recall some of it if only to come back later and read it, all while wondering, "What the fuck was I thinking?"
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So to set the scene, in front of me is a full-length mirror, covering the whole expanse of wall. The first row is a couple of people on the mechanical stair masters. The second row is the stationary bikes. This Man is on the first row of treadmills. The CD that I'll be listening to during this run is Meteora by Linkin Park (perfect for treadmill running). There are three televisions mounted on the wall, where you can tune your walkmans to an AM frequency to hear the volume. The first lap on my run, is This Man walking at a 4.0 incline. So without futher delay, This Man presents...
"I can't believe that guy isn't here today. He was a great running partner even though he didn't know that I'd set my pace to his. Those fucking trainers are so worthless! All they ever do is flirt with these tired old girls who really think they're going to get laid. I'm so over it! Ohhh, look it's Dr. Sanjay Gumpta (one channel is showing CNN)! I could look at his lips all day.
Fuck! I can't believe I'm already sweating. UGH! Why are they showing this shit about Tom Cruise! Okay, This Man, maybe we should focus on something else. Why aren't I in my "Zone" yet. Take a deep breath and concentrate...it's time to speed up"
At this point, I lower the treadmill down to 0.0 grade and increase my speed, starting at a 5.5
and turning up the Linkin Park. More rambling...
"I don't know why I haven't went out and purchased this CD! This burnt copy isn't the best and all the tracks make it worth the money. Maybe I'll go get it this weekend. Who the fuck does this chick think she is! I can't believe she decided to get on that Stairmaster so now I can't see myself in the mirror. I should've spit this gum out before I walked in here--it's starting to get on my nerves. Is that the Baltimore Orioles playing? I really should to see the Padres play downtown. Maybe one day, I'll go and get a cheap ticket and watch the game by myself. Yeah, I could get drunk and watch some baseball. Is that man checking me out? I'm going to make eye contact with him and see... oh, he is! I don't understand why he wore board shorts to the gym. Maybe I'm the only who has actually went out and bought workout clothes. God, I really wish she would hurry up so I could see myself in the mirror again! And then she's not even doing it right. She's talking to that woman and they're just wasting time! HEY YOU, you're blocking my view. Okay, I must sound really pathetic now. I'll have to make sure not to put that in the blog. I wonder why noone read my entry from yesterday. I thought it was pretty good and the picture was nice, but noone bothered to leave a comment. How long have I been running? 15 minutes. My god, today is not a good day to run! My legs are killing me. Ooo, look, I'm actually at a 6.5 today! That's cool. Maybe now, I should remove the towel so those guys behind me can see. I'm not going past a 6.7. Thank god, she's leaving. Ohhh, I think I've seen that guy online. He looks better in person! Tomorrow, I'm not listening to this CD. I hope that other guy is upstairs lifting. I may just say something to him--I should've did that yesterday. He was cute. I wonder where I'm going to get orders to? I haven't thought about that in a while. Should I call S when I get home and see how her date was? Maybe tomorrow. Fuck, I don't think I'm going to do the whole 25. As soon as I hit two miles, I'm getting off of this thing and heading upstairs. Wow, she has been running forever. I wonder what her distance is? This is crazy! I hope I don't remember any of this shit--it's going to sound ridiculous. I'm hungry. I really wanted to ride my bike today, but I think it's going too late."
And time was up! I'd ran just short of the 2 miles, did my cool down and jumped off the machine. There was a couple of other things that I could've put in this entry, but This Man was lucky to remember that bunch of bullshit.
Mahalo


D goes to the doctor.

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For the past couple of weeks, my son D has been out of control! He has shown total disregard for the standing house rules, he's been a tyrant at school and has just all around been a knucklehead! There has been countless times when This Man and his mother have sat down with him and attempted to figure out what was going on and how we could work to correct any problems, but the pleas have for the most part, fallen upon his deaf ears. And then just as I'm at the point of bashing his skull in out of frustration, This Man has to stop, take a breath and realize that some of the things, while simple to you and me, are completely out of his control.
My son, D was diagnosed with ADHD back when he was in kindergarten. Immediately, something needed to be done. While initially, I was against having him put on medication, his mother eventually got me to see that it would be the best thing for him. All This Man could picture was my son being doped up on Ritalin or something hardcore! It wasn't something that I would want to fathom.
So after some research and some convincing by his mother, This Man did come around and we had D put on Adderall XR.
By the time This Man returned from overseas, I could see a noticeable diffence instantly. His teachers would remark on the change in his behavior also. For the next two years, he remained on the same dosage with no problems. The standing house rule was that D would not have his medication on weekends and whenever he went to visit his grandmother, she would also lay off on his taking the medicine. Everything was great!
Up to this point, D was tolerable. He was focusing in school and he was in control of his behavior. While there were still times when he would loose focus or interest in certain tasks, we were able to whip him back into line.
Needless to say, This Man and my son's mother had become comfortable with him and his medication.
Until recently.
To begin, This Man has one golden rule with D and that's always be honest. It's my belief that everything thing bad or evil can be centered, even pointed back to telling a lie. In my opinion, there is no evil deed greater than telling a lie. So I can't even begin to elaborate on how This Man is forever stressing to D how important it is to always be honest. Everything else comes second to, or stems from, being honest.
To me, if you're honest in what you do or say, it cancels out all other evils. But that's just This Man, right?
But I digress. We'd reached a point, where my son had began to lie constantly! He would blantly disregard rules set for him. He could never complete any task assigned to him--neither at home or school. And his behavior--he'd become a flat out tyrant!
And just when everything had either been taken away from him in punishment, he'd been whipped more times than I care to think about and he was continuing to lie, This Man and D's mother agreed that it was time for medical intervention. So today, the three of us were at his doctor's office. All of his vitals were great and he's showing signs of healthy growth and proper weight gain. Dr.V was genuinely concerned when we stressed to her that D had reached a point where his behavior was becoming a problem again. When she questioned my son, he showed some inability to express a simple thought without wondering or fading off. When the doctor begin to consult with us, the parents, This Man could observe D's growing boredom and restlessness.
In a unanimous decision, the three adults agreed to up his medication.
So while I type this, D is on the floor of the workstation area, completing his classwork (he was so restless in class and unable to stay on task that the work didn't get completed). He's not bouncing off the walls, thank goodness but This Man thinks that it's partially due to the fact that it's late and he's exhausted. Tomorrow will probably be a day of observation, but This Man is optimistic. D's an awesome boy and I know that as long as This Man and his mother stays hot on his ass, he will definitely grow into the fantastic, honest man that This Man dreams he will become.
Mahalo


It was supposed to be so easy!

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Okay, readers, pay attention because this entry is going to move kinda fast and it's going to hop all over the place so just stick with This Man and enjoy. Let's start with yesterday afternoon, shall we.
  • Spent the whole day cleaning the house because L was expecting company and frankly, we'd been living like pigs for the past couple of weeks. Since it was a super early, practically don't go to work day, it wasn't a big deal.
  • This Man finally turned in all of my Target flair. I went and picked up my last piece of paycheck and went ahead and gave them back their discount card, access badge and my cute little nametag. Immediately raced to the bank to cash the check because I owed L 60 bucks and she wasn't going to rest and I needed to do some shopping.
  • After racing back home, paying L the money I owed her, grabbing a quick bite to eat and changing my clothes, This Man was at the mall, searching for a good birthday gift for my dear friend, S (found some awesome gifts for her at Pottery Barn & ZGallerie--WOOHOO!).
  • Once I got back home, This Man made a big to do about making sure that S's gift were wrapped perfect! And to make that so bad, L got soooo jealous that I used wrapping paper with ladybugs on it that she actually had the gall to blog about it. I swear, she has some serious issues, but I love her to death! You can read her entry here.
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  • Around 11 o'clock, met L's other boyfriend whom we call, KXYX and dashed off to Bourbon Street. I knew there was a small chance that I would run into J so I spent more time than normal making sure This Man was pulled together and looking great. And sure that one guy outside of Bourbon Street didn't recognize that it Jimmy Hendrix on my tee shirt and practically believe it when This Man told him that it was Lauryn Hill, but my jeans fit right, the shoes worked and I had a killer smile working for me! (Really, I did!)
  • I didn't run into J at Bourbon, but I did run into his friends and they were just as happy to see me as I was to see them. K and H are one of the nicest couples I've ever met and just watching the way they are with each other kinda makes This Man optimistic about finding someone eventually and spending 7+ years with him. So after getting caught up on what's been going on, the conversation did move to J and what happened on that dreadful night (see The Gift and the Curse). And I know This Man probably broke several rules of gay protocol by even hanging out with the friends of a guy that I was with, but they are nice and I enjoyed their company. I'm also sure that I broke another gay mans' rule by talking about what happened between J and me and explaining everything from my perspective.
  • Hung out with K and H and some of their friends, drinking and standing around (Did I mention that Bourbon Street is a S& M bar--stand and model).
  • It was as everyone was leaving and we were still standing, modeling & talking that I met the sexy and hot Latin named M. With a killer smile, awesome pecs and a hand that stayed on This Man's ass, M had This Man won over before he even got to say hello. Here's the crazy part, he was into me too--oh, and he was with someone! Fortunately, they were just friends, he explained and that it was nothing. It didn't matter because I was loving the eye contact and even I, who usually has a permanent scowl planted on my grille was beaming from ear to ear. K and H noticed it right away and they weren't surprised when, after groping M's chest while he gropped This Man's ass, I practically begged H to get his number for me. I was definitely interested. (I'm hoping to get that number this week and definitely set something up.)
  • Bourbon closed shortly after one and This Man dashed across town to Rich's. I was already on a kick and the last thing I wanted to do was call it a night. Got to Rich's and buddied up with the bartender, who kept the drinks flowing. Rich's was packed and This Man was smashed! I saw my favorite Muscle-Asian- GoGo Boy-fuckbuddy grinding to the hard music. Downed another Bombay Sapphire & Red Bull. Closed out Rich's, grabbed some quesadillas at La Fuente, met an awesome guy from Poland and finally, got up and headed home.
  • Well, This Man did make it home in one piece! L's company had left and I was about to chat with her for a while but her tired ass was sleepy. So who better to take a cue from, right? This Man finally after all of that, laid down and collapsed into a deep somber.
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Mahalo
(these pics are clearly the result of what happens when This Man is allowed to run wild in ZGallerie unsupervised---you should see the ones that I didn't publish)


Summertime in SDC

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It's that time again and This Man is sooooo excited! Summer is officially here. Can you believe it? This morning when I woke up at a few minutes after six, it was already clear and bright outside. Driving to work, I was in a good mood even while listening to Rick Roberts rant on and on about illegal immigrants working in San Diego; This Man couldn't be moved. Eventually when I got home this afternoon, I knew I wasn't going to spend the rest of the day in the house so what did I do--threw my bicycle in the back of my Jeep, packed a small lunch, grabbed my camera and headed downtown. It was going to be a day spent outside. So This Man rode my bicycle downtown and in Hillcrest. I had my lunch at Balboa Park, while resting under a tree. I was fortunate enough not to have gotten boggled down with phone calls while I was out and I didn't really need anything. It was just This Man and the warm summer day. Just think, Summer's here and that means, hot men with no shirts on, flip flops, the color white and long lazy days.
I can't wait for tomorrow!

Mahalo


Bears are people too!

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So after having a fantastic Fathers' Day brunch with L and my son, D, I did make time to call my brother-in-law in Texas and with him a Happy Fathers' Day. This Man figured that even though I refuse to make contact with the man whom the State of Texas has documented as the father of This Man, I would definitely call the man partly responsible for instilling great values, morals and beliefs into me. Our conversation ended up lasting over 2 hours! But even for us, that's a record! I did alert my "father" and my oldest sister that I would be in Texas next month and after I'd gotten off the phone with them, I was actually looking forward to the trip to visit them. Now, I know I've said repeatedly that the only time I would ever step foot back into the Lone Star State would be in a casket, but whenever This Man thinks about it, it is time for me to make the voyage back to the place that I refuse to return to. That said, I got off the phone with my sister and her husband and proceeded to The Hole, where This Man was to hang out with two online chat buddies for afternoon drinks. I'd never there, but I have to admit, This Man was looking forward to seeing what all the hype about Sunday afternoons in the spot was all about.
And that's when it happened...
This Man walked down the stairs into a crowded patio full of men! I couldn't see my buddies, but walking around finding them would be just as cool.
And that's when it happened. This Man, dressed head to toe in Abercrombie & Fitch, sauntered smack dead into the cave! At one point I was surrounded by nothing but bear-type men! These were men who, I'm sure had I knocked one of their pitchers of beer over wouldn't have a problem bashing my skull in. It was remnant of that dream that you have when you wake up and find yourself in the middle of the prison cafeteria at high noon wearing nothing but Daisy Dukes, a wife beater and a come-hither smile! But surprisingly, these men were some of the nicest I'd ever met. Most were polite and friendly. I didn't have to push them out of the way to get through the crowd and it was then that I realized that Bears were basically jocks--with fur and without the attitude.
Eventually, after meeting some nice men and running into fellow blogger and chat buddy, PacificBeachRay, I did settle in and have a great time. The bar was still packed and the men were awesome. Needless to say, I'll be back again.

Mahalo


Who's Your Daddy?

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Did you call him? Send him a card? Tell him thanks for all the he's done for you?
As far as This Man goes, I didn't call my "father", but I did make a note to call the man who was more like a father to me than any other man that I know.
To L and my son, D, thanks for the iPod. You know it's what I wanted.
Image hosted by Photobucket.com This Man (the father) and This Young Man (the son) mug for the camera.
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Mahalo.


Quake, Rattle & Roll

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Shortly before 2 o'clock this afternoon, Southern California had another earthquake and This Man was so in my own little biosphere that I didn't feel it. For the record, that's the third one we've had this week where if you're into to signs like This Man; you would definitely conclude that this has to be a prelude to the big one. So what to do?
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Usually I sleep through the little rumbles but so far, I can count three that I've actually felt and heard (yes, you can actually hear that shit) in the 5 years that This Man has lived in San Diego. And it's pretty funny to go out to like the drug store or something after the quakes and listen as everyone is in disarray about the event--especially when I'm looking clueless about the whole thing.
"Did you just feel the earthquake?" someone will usually ask.
"Huh?" That's my typical response.
"We just had had a 5.5. Didn't you feel it?"
"Um, no and can I get a pack of Newports short... and in the box."
So maybe the next one, I'll run around town all excited about feeling the rumble. Today when I'm at the gym, in fact, I think I'll use that as my opening line to start talking to some hot looking guy while I'm on the treadmill.
"Did you feel the earthquake today?" This Man will start off.
Silence (he probably won't hear me because he'll have his iPod turned up loud).
"It was a 5.5 on the Richter scale. Didn't you feel it?" I'll continue on.
Still no response. But I'm determined so I'll just keep prodding.
"Wanna blow me in the locker room?" I'll ask.
"Sure!" Hot guy would respond without missing a beat.
See how using the earthquakes can get you some action!
More tomorrow.

Mahalo.

**the sandwich board that the gorilla guy is wearing says, "With gorillas gone, will there be hope for man?" **


June Gloom?

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For the love of God it has been so gloomy here in America's finest city and frankly it's starting to really get to This Man! The local meteorologist coin this time of the year 'June Gloom' and believe me, there couldn't be a better term for it. The overcast is unbearable and then there are periods throughout the day when it drizzles for a few minutes and then it's windy the next.
It has put a damper on my mood and my plans. Not that I have any.
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So today, This Man finds himself sitting here at my workstation with absolutely nothing to do. I really should clean this place--I mean, it's filthy (but then, it's not like anyone will show up unexpected). I've decided to take a day off from the gym on account that yesterday, This Man worked my back like nobody's business! Thankfully, I'm off from Target tonight which means that I really should get to bed early, but then I always fear that when I go to bed early, I miss out on all of my nocturnal activities that This Man usually likes to engage once the insomnia kicks in.
So here I am, feeling gloomy...in June.
June Gloom.
And to tell the truth, it's a bitch!
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A whole bunch of nothing.

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Today, during my shift at Target, This Man decided that to occupy my time during slow periods I would create a list. On this list would be certain things, that I would have to count and see how many customers who came through my checkout lane would either have among their purchases or be doing. I was also to keep a going count and finally tally it all up at the end of my shift. Today, I worked from 4:30 pm until 10 o'clock however the tally went from 5 o'clock until closing time.
Since This Man worked the express lane today and it was a Thursday, the crowd was sparse and I was able to make time to do this. Out of a total of 213 customers between 5 and 10 pm, here are the 12 things that were on my list:
1. # people who purchased Father's Day cards: 13
2. # of people who actually paid for their purchases by writing a check: 3
3. # of people who had screaming children with them: 2
4. # of screaming children heard throughout the store during my shift: 12
5. # of people who bought Father's Day gifts minus the card: 2
6. # of men worth flirting with: 6
7. # of men who actually flirted with This Man: 2
8. # of people who came through the 10 items or less line with more than
10 items: 19
9. # of people who actually paid for their purchases with either a Target Visa
or a Target store card: 5
10. # of people who bought the new Coldplay X and Y CD: 5
11. # of people who bought the new Black Eyed Peas Monkey Business CD: 2
12. # of people who bought Coldplay's X and Y and Black Eyed Peas'
Monkey Business together: 2
See this is the result of what happens when This Man has entirely too much free time on his hands.

Mahalo


No time for lounging.

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I finally got a day off from working at Target today and it couldn't have come at a better time! This Man has been trying to juggle both jobs AND trying to go to the gym and I have to tell you, this is proving to be harder than I'd imagined. Then to make matters worse, I've really started to neglect all of my other tasks because I've been coming home so tired and worked over that the last thing This Man feels like doing is things like laundry, cleaning or even blogging. So this afternoon, This Man decided that I would reduce my normal working time on regular tasks to 30 minutes. I'll have to devote 30 minutes to things like laundry, responding to emails, blogging and cleaning and a bit more time to things like the gym, riding my bike, hanging out with my son, D and even washing my car. Even now, as This Man sits and writes this entry, I'm yawning (and I just woke from a power nap).
I'm supposed to be in the process of switching duty stations, meaning I'm transferring officially from my fine warship to a shore duty command. I should be happy about this, seeing as I've been in the Navy for 10+ years and have yet to be stationed on shore duty. All the while, this transfer has been taking far longer than estimated. It seems there's so much paperwork that I'm missing and my parent ship is out to sea, albeit a few miles off the coast of San Diego, but out to sea nonetheless. So this task is proving harder to accomplish than I'd originally thought.
The second job, cashiering at Target is okay but I have to tell you the everlasting thought of just saying "fuck it" and walking off the job forever looms. I'll finally get my first paycheck from the Bullseye on Friday, which really won't matter because This Man probably won't be able to deposit it in my bank until maybe Saturday morning. So it almost seems as if I'm volunteering to work at Target!
I just remember that I'd dedicated this time to blogging when really I should be on the phone with the naval medical center, but This Man figures, the hospital has been giving me the run around for 2 days, so why should I make that a priority. I'm also thinking that I really could afford to take 20 minutes to dash across the street to the car wash to vacuum out my car...it's the nastiest that it's ever been! My bike sits lonely in the garage and there's clothes in the living room. This Man is tired as hell and all I ask is for about 3 more days of peace and solitude and I promise I'll get the work done.
Well since I know I can't just take the time myself, I guess I'll have to fit it all in somehow. If only I could clone myself. Okay so my blogging time is up; I have phone calls to make and other shit to get done. I'll check back on my blog in a couple of days. Until then...
Mahalo


This Man

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Only because I have nothing to blog about did I post this picture.
Mahalo
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Closure! Finally over the Curse.

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J decided that after almost two weeks, he would send This Man an email. Because it was during 'booty call' hours and because I was finally over him, This Man couldn't help but marvel at the chutzpah of him even attempting to pretend that our problems were just one big confusing situation. This Man, however was happy that he'd put himself out there because I was going to get my closure and finally be done with him.
Once again, as mentioned before, the misspelled words are J's and not This Man's. The first message (in red) is from J.
>>Hey man are you still talking to me?
>>What do you think? I mean, I pretty much got the hint from you J. The last time we exchanged emails, I figured there were some misunderstandings and that's why I practically pleaded for you to give me a call so we could get some things straightened out. But I never once heard from you and believe me, I don't have to be told twice. I took the hint and I pretty much moved on. There are still some things that I don't understand, but it's okay.
>>Shill (sic) it's just sex!!
>>Yeah, that would be the easy answer, J...but what you don't understand, is I was actually starting to care for you-- a lot. So it wasn't just sex with a fuckbuddy--it was sex with a guy that I actually cared about. See the difference?
>>same here man we are to old for games, there is more important staff (sic) to take care of.
>>well, you take it easy, J...
There was nothing else to be said. I know the only reason he sent me the initial message was solely because he wanted to get laid, but This Man wasn't about to pimp myself out that easily.
So I thought about the email exchange and I wondered if This Man was a bit harsh with J. But I wasn't, J cut me off completely without so much as a goodbye--after he accused me of bullshitting around with him. This Man just wanted to get to say those few words above and only then would I have been able to get over him completely.

Mahalo.


Happy Hour

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Not exactly drunk, but This Man is too sloshed to blog. You can blame it on the house margaritas at Baja Betty's that This Man downed during Happy Hour. But I did sit and take crazy pics of myself. Once again, didn't have my trust Canon with me so This Man had to rely on the old camera phone. And if I say so myself, the pictures don't look too bad. I do have to mention, This Man finally got off my ass and joined a gym. Maybe it had something to do with the cute guy that was hawking the memberships last week (hey, he did promise that he would call me this week--and he did so how could This Man say no) or perhaps it was that the special was too good to pass up. Nonetheless, I did go ahead and sign up to start going to Ballys, which isn't too far from my house or Target for that matter. And that's about it.
After waiting the customary 3 days to hear from PJ, sadly he didn't call--even though I did call and leave another message on his voicemail. And believe me, This Man can take a hint. And that's all she wrote. Working a long shift tomorrow at Target, which This Man so isn't looking forward to so I really should call it a night.
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Enjoy and see ya tomorrow.

Mahalo


Don't bank on this one!

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So with today being the first of the month and also the absolute worst day to go to the bank, This Man had to make the venture down the hill and to my favorite credit union to withdraw a large amount of cash and to get a cashier's check.
It sounds simple enough, right?
Had I planned better and went to the bank earlier in the daytime, while all the other Sailors and Marines were at work, This Man could've avoided the screaming, undisciplined children. I could've also missed out on the people talking at the top of their lungs--on their mobile phones! Had I went to the bank right when they opened, This Man would not have been forced to stand in the long line (remnant of the old bread lines in the former Soviet Union) that moved about an inch every 10 minutes.
But of course, seeing as I went to the bank later in the afternoon (after laying around all day--jacking off, literally) I had to endure all of this; from the screaming children, the loud cell phone barking adults and the slow moving line. And after all of that and two Aleve later, This Man still had to post the picture that I took while standing in line. I apologize for the quality of the shot, but I wasn't able to use the digital cam but instead had to rely on the Motorola V220i phonecam.
I really should look into online banking.

Mahalo