You think your life is fucked up? Try living a piece of mine.

She's a Big Girl now!


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L, you didn't think that This Man for one minute wasn't going to blog about your turning 30, did you?
You're finally in the Grown Folks league now.
Happy Birthday from This Man!

Readers, if you want to wish L a Happy Birthday, stop by her blog. You can reach it here.



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Today while at the grocery store, I passed the magazine rack and had to do a double take, after seeing Beyonce' looking stunning on the cover of Cosmopolitan. Now normally, This Man would never use the word, FLAWLESS, but it's the only word in the English dictionary that could possibly describe how she looks gracing the cover!
And don't even get me started on her latest video.

...And one to grow on!


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Surprisingly, This Man woke up without feeling depressed.
It was that time again. That's right. My birthday.
And looking back on everything that happened today, I'm kinda glad that I didn't find myself in a deep depression like I normally do. Let's see, I got some nice gifts.
My buddy JS, sent me a great gift certificate for 75 bucks to use on (he knows about my love for books). I got two nice pens with my name engraved on them. L and my son, D got me balloons, a cake and ice cream (yum) and even offered to have my car washed and cleaned.
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My oldest sister sent me a card ( no money--just the card). Usually she includes money to reflect your age. And a dear girlfriend of mine SML called from Atlanta.
So all in all it was great. This Man has absolutely nothing to be sad about. But it's the conversations and cards that I'll definitely remember. Let's start with the e-greeting from my buddy, JS. It read;
happy 32nd birthday mr. heath. i was trying with no luck to find a vendor for fresh cut flowers via email gift certificate. so yr stuck with an Amazon gift certificate. i have a copy of a DVD at the house ("Fuck House" T.I.M.); you can pick that up whenever. drive by the house in june to see the roses and calla lilies in the front yard in bloom, if i dont kill them before then. enjoy your day
your friend

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Then there was the conversation with L. She always manages to keep This Man in check.
L: Here's your cake, balloons & ice cream. Now get over here and cut us some cake and scoop us some ice cream.
This Man: You mean I have to serve y'all? But it's my birthday!
L: Look, it's only your birthday for two hours! That's all you get. Two Hours!

And my conversation with my dear friend, SML, in Atlanta went something like this...
SML: So are you doing anything fun & exciting tonight?
This Man: Nah, I'll probably stay in. You know, I'm not exactly looking my best.
SML: You must need a hair cut?
This Man: OMG, how does everybody know that?!
SML: ...because when your hair isn't right, you don't go ANYWHERE!
Sadly, she's telling the truth!

Then later on in the day, This Man was pacing and wondering why I hadn't received a card or a phone call from my sister. I mean, she never forgets to atleast call (and I do the same for her). Just as it was making me anxious, I commented to L.
This Man: I guess I should go check the mail to see if my sister sent a card atleast.
L: OH GOD! And so the depression begins...
Fortunately, she sent the card so I was all good.
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So to close out this post, This Man would like to say Thank You to all those who wished me a Happy Birthday. This turned out to be one of my better birthdays in that it didn't involve a Paxil prescription, a trip to the therapist and This Man bawling his eyes out.
Thanks a million for the cards and gifts.

Love Ya,
This Man

The Smurfs


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Remember growing up and watching the Smurfs? For This Man, I never got up early enough on Saturday morning so I never watched the cartoon, but I remember the characters well enough.
So it seems that This Man and my best friend L, were sitting & watching a commercial for the Smurfs when the following conversation started.
L: I wish I could live there.
(Instantly This Man gives her a sidewards glance.)
This Man: You would want to live there?
L: Yeah, I wish I could live there.
(Another sidewards glance. This chick is dead serious.)
This Man: But they lived in mushrooms!
L has a big grin on her face.
This Man: And there was only one girl there.
L: Yeah...and? She gets her period once a month!
Had I not been there, I wouldn't have believed the conversation myself!


From the Chairman


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Dear Readers,
I've gotten word that it's become impossible to leave comments or remarks on This Man's Life. Believe me when I say that I'm working on it and keep in mind that I'm an amateur at this so it's going to take me a while to correct it. Nevertheless, keep reading and I promise the problem will be fixed soon.


Crying on the Inside


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This Man will be back in a few days.




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Here's the beginning of a conversation that I had with a buddy of mine on
«Heathboy27» let's chat for a bit...
«SevenDeadHookers» ok
«Heathboy27» the subject is...
«Heathboy27» guys who have potential to be excellent bottom boys and whether or not it's worth it to invest the time in teaching them
«SevenDeadHookers» lol
This Man was telling my buddy (SevenDeadHookers) about an experience that I'd had with a young guy who lacked, um--experience.
«Heathboy27» no joke
«SevenDeadHookers» well.. me personally... I like being a teacher sometimes
«Heathboy27» I met this bomb ass, young brotha the other night
«SevenDeadHookers» makes me feel important.. and they remember you forever!
«Heathboy27» he had a banging body and a cute face
«Heathboy27» but he lacked experience and it was very obvious
«Heathboy27» but I could sense the potential
that part is self-explanatory. Read on.
«Heathboy27» and wouldn't mind hooking up with him again, but I would have to completely break him down to square one and reteach him everything that he thought he knew
«Heathboy27» and it's clearly obvious that he's merely a product of the guys that he's been letting fuck him
«Heathboy27» have you ever had anyone like this?
«SevenDeadHookers» oh one of those.. that shouldn't be hard really.. if you tell it like it is.. and say. you know.. sex can be better.. and the guys you've had up until now haven't taught you anything
«Heathboy27» hmmmm...very true
«Heathboy27» we'd have to start with the obvious...
«Heathboy27» recreating his "Booty Bag"
«Heathboy27» I mean, this is 2006, who the fuck still uses Vaseline as lubricant?
«Heathboy27» he pulled that out and I was like, "Oh no, man...I brought some."
«Heathboy27» because I was NOT about to put that gunk on me
«SevenDeadHookers» vaseline?..
«SevenDeadHookers» how old is he?
«Heathboy27» vaseline
«Heathboy27» 26
«SevenDeadHookers» how did he even fucking knwo about it?
«Heathboy27» man, I don't even know...maybe he'd been to jail at one time or another
«SevenDeadHookers» that crossed my mind too
«SevenDeadHookers» I say go for it
«Heathboy27» I thought about saying it to him or sending him a message, but I didn't want to sound downright offensive
«Heathboy27» teach him that body contact IS a good thing
«SevenDeadHookers» yeah.. exactly
«SevenDeadHookers» you can say it like it's for his benefit.. you want to show him a few things.. etc
«Heathboy27» he would tense up whenever I would touch him or kind of man-hold him while I was fucking him
«SevenDeadHookers» maybe he was raped
«SevenDeadHookers» prison sounds more and more right
«SevenDeadHookers» ok.. speaking of fucking
«SevenDeadHookers» gotta go
«Heathboy27» this is why I like chatting with you!
«Heathboy27» okay
«Heathboy27» I'll finish with you later
«Heathboy27» don't let me forget
«SevenDeadHookers» keep me updated!
«Heathboy27» k




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Racism: n (rac-ism)
1. The belief that race accounts for differences in human character or ability and that a particular race is superior to others.
2. Discrimination or prejudice based on race.

Okay, so there it is in black and white (literally). I put that definition in this post because I swear, if This Man reads another online profile that reads something like this :

"...Not into Asian, Latin or Black men. I'm not a racist, I just like (White) men. It's my preference, sorry."

I will start dating dogs because even they aren't that damned selective. But don't get me wrong, contrary to my example, it's not strictly White men that do this. You can mix and match the arrangement and you'll see what I'm so frustrated about.
Because profiles like the one above are precisely what racism is! Here's this man definition of a preference...
" Braids and dreads are nice, but This Man prefers men with close cuts or waves."

But I think the reason that I'm frustrated about the "racist" profiles is the lame attempt at trying to justify it and then summing it up with a tired ass "sorry". As if that softens the blow.
I don't know. I just want to respond to all of these profiles with one of my own that reads.

"There's nothing wrong with being a racist. In fact, more men would respect you if you were upfront about it."

This Man keeps telling myself that the way things are going in Fag world, it's just a matter of time before 1.) I swear off sex and men altogether or 2.) I start to date women.
Neither of which, This Man really thinks he would be able to do successfully.


Happy 2006


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From all of us here at This Man's Life (that includes This Man and all of the many voices in my head) Happy New Year.


The Gentleman and his Accordion...


"A gentleman knows how to play the accordion, but doesn't."
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I whispered that tidbit of wisdom to my friend, SS as he continued to kick This Man's ass--BIG TIME at a friendly game of pool. It was New Year's Eve and we were at Pecs, working our way through what would be one of several pitchers of beer all while still feeling the pot that we'd smoked back at his place. What was originally supposed to be the two of us hanging out, watching TV and eating everything in sight, was about to very rapidly turn into a night with the two of us having what was certain to be This Man's prelude to a fantastic year to come.
And to think, it all started while we were watching Desperate Housewives. Don't worry, it was a repeat (the one where Susan finally gets to the hospital to see Mike after he came out of his coma).
At any rate, we ended up at Pecs and fortunately This Man thought to bring my camera so I'll allow the pictures to tell the story.
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(with good buddies, DB on my left and SS on my right)

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(JS and DB on the patio at Pecs)

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(SS making out with some hot Latin guy--we still don't know who it was.)

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(and it was only a matter of time before the cheesy New Years paper hat showed up).

Finally, 2006 is over! I was fortunate to spend New Year's Eve with a few close buddies.
Hopefully, 2007 is better than last year.
Stick around for the ride.


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