This evening turned out to be one of those evenings where This Man wishes he could've taken a Paxil, smoked a few cigarettes and rode out the wave of depression.

But as it turned out, that was not to be and I would, in fact find myself slowly getting on my own nerves with the unnecessary bitching and complaining (don't you hate that). Then, to make matters worse, when I was chatting with a good friend, S, she said something that made me feel even worse than I was initially.
The conversation went something like this.

TM: "...and I've decided that when we get back to San Diego, I'm going to actually go to the parties that I get invited to. And I'm going to meet some new people and make some new friends!"
S: "Yeah, so this way you can let people know that you are alive and living. And you won't feel like such a nobody."

I laughed at her remark but at the same time, I wanted to wail because she was telling the truth. She later explained that she was referring to herself and not me but I could feel free to take that remark and do with it as I pleased.
It did get me thinking though. Every couple of months or so, This Man reexamines his life and then do a little personal housekeeping. I always end up listing all of the bad things about myself or the small things that could use some changing and then try and take steps to change. For the longest time, I would always point out that I needed to quit smoking. So now that I've done that, I'm no more closer to my own personal happiness than I am after I've convinced myself that a new pair of 7 jeans will lift my spirits (the only person in that situation who's spirits gets lifted is the salesguy working on comission at Nordstrom).
Needless to say, I've been walking around looking sullen and long-faced (which is not attractive, at all) for no real reason. I'm ready to get back to San Diego. I'm tired of these same people and I'm just all around frustrated and upset today.
And there's always tomorrow.

Mahalo

(FYI, This Man stopped taking Paxil almost 4 years ago. TG_H)