This evening, as This Man pulled into the parking lot of my gym, I decided that I would attempt to mentally record the silly and unbelievable thoughts that run through my head during the 25 minutes that I'm on the treadmill. While this train of thought will dash from topic to topic and may even be a bit ridiculous, This Man felt that it would be entertaining to recall some of it if only to come back later and read it, all while wondering, "What the fuck was I thinking?"

So to set the scene, in front of me is a full-length mirror, covering the whole expanse of wall. The first row is a couple of people on the mechanical stair masters. The second row is the stationary bikes. This Man is on the first row of treadmills. The CD that I'll be listening to during this run is Meteora by Linkin Park (perfect for treadmill running). There are three televisions mounted on the wall, where you can tune your walkmans to an AM frequency to hear the volume. The first lap on my run, is This Man walking at a 4.0 incline. So without futher delay, This Man presents...
"I can't believe that guy isn't here today. He was a great running partner even though he didn't know that I'd set my pace to his. Those fucking trainers are so worthless! All they ever do is flirt with these tired old girls who really think they're going to get laid. I'm so over it! Ohhh, look it's Dr. Sanjay Gumpta (one channel is showing CNN)! I could look at his lips all day.
Fuck! I can't believe I'm already sweating. UGH! Why are they showing this shit about Tom Cruise! Okay, This Man, maybe we should focus on something else. Why aren't I in my "Zone" yet. Take a deep breath and concentrate...it's time to speed up"
At this point, I lower the treadmill down to 0.0 grade and increase my speed, starting at a 5.5
and turning up the Linkin Park. More rambling...
"I don't know why I haven't went out and purchased this CD! This burnt copy isn't the best and all the tracks make it worth the money. Maybe I'll go get it this weekend. Who the fuck does this chick think she is! I can't believe she decided to get on that Stairmaster so now I can't see myself in the mirror. I should've spit this gum out before I walked in here--it's starting to get on my nerves. Is that the Baltimore Orioles playing? I really should to see the Padres play downtown. Maybe one day, I'll go and get a cheap ticket and watch the game by myself. Yeah, I could get drunk and watch some baseball. Is that man checking me out? I'm going to make eye contact with him and see... oh, he is! I don't understand why he wore board shorts to the gym. Maybe I'm the only who has actually went out and bought workout clothes. God, I really wish she would hurry up so I could see myself in the mirror again! And then she's not even doing it right. She's talking to that woman and they're just wasting time! HEY YOU, you're blocking my view. Okay, I must sound really pathetic now. I'll have to make sure not to put that in the blog. I wonder why noone read my entry from yesterday. I thought it was pretty good and the picture was nice, but noone bothered to leave a comment. How long have I been running? 15 minutes. My god, today is not a good day to run! My legs are killing me. Ooo, look, I'm actually at a 6.5 today! That's cool. Maybe now, I should remove the towel so those guys behind me can see. I'm not going past a 6.7. Thank god, she's leaving. Ohhh, I think I've seen that guy online. He looks better in person! Tomorrow, I'm not listening to this CD. I hope that other guy is upstairs lifting. I may just say something to him--I should've did that yesterday. He was cute. I wonder where I'm going to get orders to? I haven't thought about that in a while. Should I call S when I get home and see how her date was? Maybe tomorrow. Fuck, I don't think I'm going to do the whole 25. As soon as I hit two miles, I'm getting off of this thing and heading upstairs. Wow, she has been running forever. I wonder what her distance is? This is crazy! I hope I don't remember any of this shit--it's going to sound ridiculous. I'm hungry. I really wanted to ride my bike today, but I think it's going too late."
And time was up! I'd ran just short of the 2 miles, did my cool down and jumped off the machine. There was a couple of other things that I could've put in this entry, but This Man was lucky to remember that bunch of bullshit.
Mahalo