This Man's Life: Navy Times

You think your life is fucked up? Try living a piece of mine.

Navy Times

Published Thursday, December 22, 2005 by THATGUY_HEATH | E-mail this post

Last night, This Man was going through the list of blogs that I like to read and I happened to come across Overheard in New York. That blog has snippets of randoms conversations heard throughout the city and they're so hilarious that This Man decided that I would take a shot and record some pieces of dialogue that I happened to hear throughout my day at work.
I have to mention, that being around sailors all day, one can hear some pretty interesting stuff. Some of it, I just want to interrupt and add my own two cents and others I have to walk away, holding in the laughter. Since it is the military and we're not allowed to have any types of recording devices anywhere, This Man was going to have to rely on my memory and my trusty will book to document the conversations. The first, I overheard while outside having a smoke. Two guys were discussing one dude's girlfriend. Here's what happened...

Sailor One: Man, last night Trish came over and gave me the best head!
Sailor Two: (inhaling his cigarette) I thought you were gonna get rid of her.
Sailor One: So did I! But after last night, I'm thinking I may just keep her around if only for her sucking skills.
Sailor Two: (laughing & coughing) Awww, man that's fucked up!
Sailor One: What would you do?
Sailor Two: (stubbed out his cigarette) Probably the same thing.

Two hours later, This Man was passing across the quarterdeck and heard this one. One guy on staff was trying to familiarize himself with the hot areas in San Diego. Two other sailors were trying to help him out.

Sailor One: So where are the happening spots in this town. I feel like doing some shit tonight.
Sailor Two: Whatever you do, don't go to Hillcrest (the gay neighborhood).
Sailor One: What's going on over there?
Sailor Two: It's nothing but faggots running around, holding hands and shit. Even the sign has a bunch of rainbow colors on it.
Sailor One: Oh FUCK THAT!
Sailor Two: Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Sailor Three: (finally looks up from his work) Say dawg, you sure know a lot about Hillcrest, don't you?
Sailor Two: Well...my girl likes going over there.
Sailor One: Yeah, of course she does!

And how could This Man forget about the two women who were sitting in the lounge. I was merely passing through and overheard these two talking. The first girl was (she was pregnant) rubbing her stomach. They were staring at the TV screen.

Sailor One: I don't care if he has the money or not, but that nigga betta get me a bomb ass gift for Christmas.
Sailor Two: But girl, you just said that you didn't get him anything.
Sailor One: It ain't about what I got for him--this is about what he better have for me! Hell, this baby is his damned Christmas gift.

Mahalo