For everyone who's in love, This Man would like to say Happy Valentine's Day.

So in honor of this day of protesting your love for someone, I've been thinking about relationships. Mind you, relationships are something This Man knows very little about and I have to admit, I go out of my way to avoid them. To date, I've only been in one major one (my marriage) and then there were those that I attempted with men and those went sour pretty fast. Turns out, This Man didn't know that relationships had to be worked at constantly!
Which brings me to J. I've mentioned J before and the things that I like about him (his heart is genuine and his spirit is contagious, not to mention, the sex is out of this world), but the one thing that initially scared me about him was during our first couple of get-togethers, he would ask me about why I wasn't in a relationship. This Man would usually respond with, "Because I'm not looking for one" or "Because I don't want one."
But the more I think about it, I can't help but wonder, what is it about a relationship that I don't want?
I mean, my friends that are happily coupled seem to be having a great time sharing their lives with someone! For example, my friend DSS and his partner, Steve have been together for almost 7 years and they seem to be doing fine. Then there's my friend, AL who the minute he's out of one relationship, he meets another guy who instantly wins him over and BAM--he's in another relationship. And of course, there's L...her and R are in the initial stages of what seems to be a perfect match, albeit somewhat rocky, but they're making it happen. So why can't This Man join the crowd and get a partner?
Simply put, because I don't want to.
I think it's because I don't want to put myself out there all exposed for one guy to see. Hell, it's bad enough to constantly feel like you're under a microscope on a daily basis, but the fear of having to give someone your whole life's history and allow them to see what it is that has lead you to the point where you are in life, I have to admit, it scares the hell out of This Man.
And not only that, but I like variety. So to settle down with one person just wouldn't do it for me.
Slutty, yes.
Selfish, definitely.
But it's the way I like it.
So what's a man to do? Well, if you're like This Man, you keep a good pair of running shoes near by. Because for as long as I can dodge it, I'm running. But between you and me, it's only a matter of time before I realize that it's not so great being alone.
That or I run headfirst into the arms of J.

Happy Valentine's Day

Mahalo