If This Man's mother was alive today, she would've turned 61 today. It still saddens me that she past away before we really could've gotten to know one another (This Man--then, That Boy, was barely 5 when she past). But I often wonder how my life would've been different had she lived to see this birthday.
And my brothers and sisters, would our relationship be better if Mama were around to provide the security and be the main constant in our lives? I really can't say. So while This Man continues to sail eastward towards San Diego, I'm wondering if any one of my siblings will take the time out of their lives to drive out to Nelandville, TX to that cemetery that has fallen by the wayside. Drive along the rocky road and seek out the large headstone that bears our mother's name on it, rid the area of the weeds and wild brush and perhaps plant some flowers around the plot. It's wishful thinking, I know.
I also wonder, were she alive, what would my mother think of how This Man turned out. Well, I know she would probably be a bit disappointed that I didn't choose to go to college and become a teacher (at least, I haven't yet), but for the most part, I like to think that she would be somewhat be proud of, not only just me, but her other 5 children as well. Sure we've all done our share of unpleasant deeds, but on the grand scale of things, the fact that we're all still around and healthy should count for something, right? So for my brother, P who dropped out of Texas Tech before the second semester, my sister, D who after many years of wishing for solitude now finds herself alone and sad, my brother, V who's yet to realize the man that he could be, my sister C, who only wants to regale in her youth (though those days are long gone), my brother, R who's wasted more time and energy running from himself.
And lastly, This Man who tries his damnedest to keep them all together.
Happy Birthday, Mama!