"Hey This Man, what are you doing?" the Dutchman said into This Man's mobile phone. I was in the middle of my pre-workout at home before my actual workout at the gym.
"I'm about to head over to the gym. What's going on with you?"
"Well, I was kinda hoping that I could see you tonight. Maybe when you're done with your workout you can give me a call?"
"Okay, that'll be cool. I'll ring you later" This Man agreed, hung up and headed off to the gym.
The Dutchman. What started out as an accidental message to my profile on Adam4Adam turned into an awesome threeway that lead into some great times with The Dutchman. Before this phone call, he'd been away visiting some friends in South Carolina and This Man had to admit that for an instant I actually missed him. I guess I enjoyed being around him. I certainly enjoyed being in bed with him. And while there was the time when he sent me an email using the L-word to which I responded with a cautious, "you'd better be careful with that one", I kinda was excited about getting to know him. You see, I'd met The Dutchman the day following one evening when I'd declared to my friend, L that it was time for This Man to start looking for someone to actually date--not just sleep around with, go on dates with. So it was kind of odd that my 'friendship' with The Dutchman would be kicked off by a fantastic threeway. But as the days went on, we started talking more and This Man started to see him as more than a hookup guy. He was actually someone that I wanted to get to know. So whenever I would be here at my workstation, I would casually gaze up at my calendar and mentally make note of how many days until he arrived back in San Diego and we could hang out again.
Finally, two hours later exhausted and beat up, This Man arrived back at my house from the gym. No sooner than the door slammed, I received this text message.
"Guess I got passed over. Good night."
To which This Man sent in response, "LOL." Which was quickly followed by, "I just got home."
The Dutchman came back with, "Ha ha"
Has This Man ever mentioned that I hate text messaging? I simply detest it and have never quite understood the purpose. I mean, why text message someone when it's a hell of a lot easier, not to mention, convenient to just call them? You're already on the damn phone! UGH!
So after that last message, I tried to reach him online. This Man sent a couple of messages until finally I wasn't getting a response. Then finally, I received this shocking message.
"I guess I was just starting to crave you too much. Well it was fun. Take care."

Huh? Where the fuck did that come from? I responded with, "I have no idea what you're talking about." And on and on this miscommunication went until finally This Man decided to hell with text messages and emails, just call the guy! So I did and I would like to thank Cingular wireless for this precise moment to take down the fucking network so all I could hear was garble and pieces of words until finally even my mobile phone surrendered.
Un-fucking-believeable!
Up until now, I was still in my sweaty gym clothes and I was still considering heading over to North Park to see the Dutchman. Even in the midst of this maelstrom of miscommunication because I still wanted to see him. Finally I showered, threw on some jeans & flip flops, headed out to my car and called him.
"Hey!" I shouted.
"What the fuck is up with your phone? It sucks." he began with.
"Oh man, I know this whole night is really starting to piss me off. I'm just about done!"
"So come on over. I can't wait to see you. "
"I wanna see you too. I'm in my car now. I'll see you in a few."
And just before the conversation was about to close, the Dutchman threw in this little tidbit.
"Remember I told you about my friend, IT? He wants to come over and play with us. Is that cool?"
He had to be kidding? I was speechless.
"If it's cool with you, of course but I kinda told him that it would be alright."
All I could manage to say was, "Its whatever."
"You don't sound too certain." Even he could hear it in my voice. I only wanted to see him there would be other times for the threesome crap.
"It's whatever. I'll see you in a bit." And I hung up. But during the 15 minute drive to his place, I knew that I didn't want to go. I didn't want to be in the middle of that. I just wasn't in the mood. And once I got to North Park about two blocks from his house, I was certain of it.
I wasn't going to The Dutchman's house. In fact, I was going to turn my car around, head back home, climb into my pajamas and go to bed.
I wasn't in the mood for it and I didn't want to call him and explain what I felt. So I would take the easy way out and flake. That's exactly what I did.
I flaked. But what's more, I was done with the online hooking up/dating scene for a while. I knew I was. So once I got back home, I went online and deleted my online profiles. I didn't like what was happening to This Man as a result of them. I could feel myself slowly becoming one of those men that I deplored--and it didn't feel good at all. My mobile phone rang a few times last night before I finally got up and turned it off. It was the Dutchman and I'm sure he wanted an explanation. Hell, he deserved one.
Only he wasn't getting it tonight.

Mahalo