This Man's Life: Suggestive Poses.

You think your life is fucked up? Try living a piece of mine.

Suggestive Poses.

Published Monday, August 01, 2005 by THATGUY_HEATH | E-mail this post

Readers, take a look at the picture above. Study it closely. Now read below.

"Thank you for calling PlanetOut,Inc, parent company of PlanetOut.com and Gay.com. Our office is open 7 days a week from 9a.m. to 8p.m. Pacific Standard time... If you need technical support please press 2."
2
"Thank you for calling PlanetOut technical support for PlanetOut.com and Gay.com. If you would like to change your member name, talk to a technical representative....please press 2."
2
"All of our technical representatives are busy, either leave a message or stay on the line for the next available representative..."
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So just as the automated answering system launches into some dance version of a Belinda Carlisle song, This Man decided that I would wait and actually and talk with a technical representative from Gay.com. On Friday, I'd decided to take some new pics of myself to post to my Gay.com profile. I'd prided myself on the fact that, considering that I am an amateur, the pics did turn out pretty nice. So naturally, to keep my online profiles fresh and in order to attract some interesting men, I posted the pics quick snap! Almost instantly, This Man noticed that Gay.com had marked the pictures as 'Adult' oriented, meaning that either I was naked in them or doing something that was against their policies. Seeing as This Man was completely clothed in both pics, I wanted to get the issue resolved. Finally, the dance music stopped and a tech rep answered the line. Ironically, This Man wasn't expecting a woman's (by woman, I mean one with breasts and a uterus).
"Thank you for calling PlanetOut technical support, how can I help you?"
"Um, hi. This past weekend, I posted two new pics and you guys have labeled them as 'Adult' oriented and I'm completely dressed in both of them. I'm wondering if you could tell me what the problem is."
"May I have you member name, please?"
Of course, I told her what it was and listened as she keyed her computer and pulled up my profile.
"Oh okay, perhaps the pictures are too big. Were you able to post them?"
"Yes, that's not the problem. The problem is, you guys have labeled my pictures as 'Adult' oriented instead of being able to be viewed by all users."
"Are you talking about the one where you're completely naked with your hand on your stomach?"
"No."
"Which one is it?"
"It's the ones of me sitting on the steps in front of my house. Are you able to see them?"
"Oh yeah, I see them now. Um, the reason we marked them as 'Adult' oriented is because you appear to be grabbing at your crotch." she informed me. This Man couldn't help but laugh.
"Uh, ma'am if you look a bit closer at the picture, you'll see that my hands are nowhere near my crotch."
"Well, it's just that you appear to be in a suggestive position." she countered.
Suggestive position?! Suggesting what, come sit on the steps with me? So I asked her what she meant by that.
"What are you saying that I'm suggesting?"
"Well, the picture looks to be, oh, you know. I mean, if I were a guy, I would think that you were suggesting something."
"But I'm fully clothed and my hands are nowhere near that area!" This Man protested.
"I suppose you're right, I'll take care of it right now," a few more clicks on her keyboard, "Okay, you're good to go now. Is there anything else I can help you with?"
"Yeah, do you see the picture where I have my hand gripping my dick?" I asked.
"Yes."
"What do you think it suggests?"
She hung up in my face! But atleast This Man's profile was fixed.

Mahalo

1 Responses to “Suggestive Poses.”

Anonymous on 11:11 AM

Found your blog by bloghopping. This is a funny post. Wonder if it was a lesbian that rated it or a very-uncomfortable-with-his-sexuality-in-the-closet guy.