This evening, as This Man pulled into the parking lot of my gym, I decided that I would attempt to mentally record the silly and unbelievable thoughts that run through my head during the 25 minutes that I'm on the treadmill. While this train of thought will dash from topic to topic and may even be a bit ridiculous, This Man felt that it would be entertaining to recall some of it if only to come back later and read it, all while wondering, "What the fuck was I thinking?"

So to set the scene, in front of me is a full-length mirror, covering the whole expanse of wall. The first row is a couple of people on the mechanical stair masters. The second row is the stationary bikes. This Man is on the first row of treadmills. The CD that I'll be listening to during this run is Meteora by Linkin Park (perfect for treadmill running). There are three televisions mounted on the wall, where you can tune your walkmans to an AM frequency to hear the volume. The first lap on my run, is This Man walking at a 4.0 incline. So without futher delay, This Man presents...
"I can't believe that guy isn't here today. He was a great running partner even though he didn't know that I'd set my pace to his. Those fucking trainers are so worthless! All they ever do is flirt with these tired old girls who really think they're going to get laid. I'm so over it! Ohhh, look it's Dr. Sanjay Gumpta (one channel is showing CNN)! I could look at his lips all day.
Fuck! I can't believe I'm already sweating. UGH! Why are they showing this shit about Tom Cruise! Okay, This Man, maybe we should focus on something else. Why aren't I in my "Zone" yet. Take a deep breath and concentrate...it's time to speed up"
At this point, I lower the treadmill down to 0.0 grade and increase my speed, starting at a 5.5
and turning up the Linkin Park. More rambling...
"I don't know why I haven't went out and purchased this CD! This burnt copy isn't the best and all the tracks make it worth the money. Maybe I'll go get it this weekend. Who the fuck does this chick think she is! I can't believe she decided to get on that Stairmaster so now I can't see myself in the mirror. I should've spit this gum out before I walked in here--it's starting to get on my nerves. Is that the Baltimore Orioles playing? I really should to see the Padres play downtown. Maybe one day, I'll go and get a cheap ticket and watch the game by myself. Yeah, I could get drunk and watch some baseball. Is that man checking me out? I'm going to make eye contact with him and see... oh, he is! I don't understand why he wore board shorts to the gym. Maybe I'm the only who has actually went out and bought workout clothes. God, I really wish she would hurry up so I could see myself in the mirror again! And then she's not even doing it right. She's talking to that woman and they're just wasting time! HEY YOU, you're blocking my view. Okay, I must sound really pathetic now. I'll have to make sure not to put that in the blog. I wonder why noone read my entry from yesterday. I thought it was pretty good and the picture was nice, but noone bothered to leave a comment. How long have I been running? 15 minutes. My god, today is not a good day to run! My legs are killing me. Ooo, look, I'm actually at a 6.5 today! That's cool. Maybe now, I should remove the towel so those guys behind me can see. I'm not going past a 6.7. Thank god, she's leaving. Ohhh, I think I've seen that guy online. He looks better in person! Tomorrow, I'm not listening to this CD. I hope that other guy is upstairs lifting. I may just say something to him--I should've did that yesterday. He was cute. I wonder where I'm going to get orders to? I haven't thought about that in a while. Should I call S when I get home and see how her date was? Maybe tomorrow. Fuck, I don't think I'm going to do the whole 25. As soon as I hit two miles, I'm getting off of this thing and heading upstairs. Wow, she has been running forever. I wonder what her distance is? This is crazy! I hope I don't remember any of this shit--it's going to sound ridiculous. I'm hungry. I really wanted to ride my bike today, but I think it's going too late."
And time was up! I'd ran just short of the 2 miles, did my cool down and jumped off the machine. There was a couple of other things that I could've put in this entry, but This Man was lucky to remember that bunch of bullshit.
Mahalo

For the past couple of weeks, my son D has been out of control! He has shown total disregard for the standing house rules, he's been a tyrant at school and has just all around been a knucklehead! There has been countless times when This Man and his mother have sat down with him and attempted to figure out what was going on and how we could work to correct any problems, but the pleas have for the most part, fallen upon his deaf ears. And then just as I'm at the point of bashing his skull in out of frustration, This Man has to stop, take a breath and realize that some of the things, while simple to you and me, are completely out of his control.
My son, D was diagnosed with ADHD back when he was in kindergarten. Immediately, something needed to be done. While initially, I was against having him put on medication, his mother eventually got me to see that it would be the best thing for him. All This Man could picture was my son being doped up on Ritalin or something hardcore! It wasn't something that I would want to fathom.
So after some research and some convincing by his mother, This Man did come around and we had D put on Adderall XR.
By the time This Man returned from overseas, I could see a noticeable diffence instantly. His teachers would remark on the change in his behavior also. For the next two years, he remained on the same dosage with no problems. The standing house rule was that D would not have his medication on weekends and whenever he went to visit his grandmother, she would also lay off on his taking the medicine. Everything was great!
Up to this point, D was tolerable. He was focusing in school and he was in control of his behavior. While there were still times when he would loose focus or interest in certain tasks, we were able to whip him back into line.
Needless to say, This Man and my son's mother had become comfortable with him and his medication.
Until recently.
To begin, This Man has one golden rule with D and that's always be honest. It's my belief that everything thing bad or evil can be centered, even pointed back to telling a lie. In my opinion, there is no evil deed greater than telling a lie. So I can't even begin to elaborate on how This Man is forever stressing to D how important it is to always be honest. Everything else comes second to, or stems from, being honest.
To me, if you're honest in what you do or say, it cancels out all other evils. But that's just This Man, right?
But I digress. We'd reached a point, where my son had began to lie constantly! He would blantly disregard rules set for him. He could never complete any task assigned to him--neither at home or school. And his behavior--he'd become a flat out tyrant!
And just when everything had either been taken away from him in punishment, he'd been whipped more times than I care to think about and he was continuing to lie, This Man and D's mother agreed that it was time for medical intervention. So today, the three of us were at his doctor's office. All of his vitals were great and he's showing signs of healthy growth and proper weight gain. Dr.V was genuinely concerned when we stressed to her that D had reached a point where his behavior was becoming a problem again. When she questioned my son, he showed some inability to express a simple thought without wondering or fading off. When the doctor begin to consult with us, the parents, This Man could observe D's growing boredom and restlessness.
In a unanimous decision, the three adults agreed to up his medication.
So while I type this, D is on the floor of the workstation area, completing his classwork (he was so restless in class and unable to stay on task that the work didn't get completed). He's not bouncing off the walls, thank goodness but This Man thinks that it's partially due to the fact that it's late and he's exhausted. Tomorrow will probably be a day of observation, but This Man is optimistic. D's an awesome boy and I know that as long as This Man and his mother stays hot on his ass, he will definitely grow into the fantastic, honest man that This Man dreams he will become.
Mahalo

Okay, readers, pay attention because this entry is going to move kinda fast and it's going to hop all over the place so just stick with This Man and enjoy. Let's start with yesterday afternoon, shall we.

• Spent the whole day cleaning the house because L was expecting company and frankly, we'd been living like pigs for the past couple of weeks. Since it was a super early, practically don't go to work day, it wasn't a big deal.
• This Man finally turned in all of my Target flair. I went and picked up my last piece of paycheck and went ahead and gave them back their discount card, access badge and my cute little nametag. Immediately raced to the bank to cash the check because I owed L 60 bucks and she wasn't going to rest and I needed to do some shopping.
• After racing back home, paying L the money I owed her, grabbing a quick bite to eat and changing my clothes, This Man was at the mall, searching for a good birthday gift for my dear friend, S (found some awesome gifts for her at Pottery Barn & ZGallerie--WOOHOO!).
  
• Once I got back home, This Man made a big to do about making sure that S's gift were wrapped perfect! And to make that so bad, L got soooo jealous that I used wrapping paper with ladybugs on it that she actually had the gall to blog about it. I swear, she has some serious issues, but I love her to death! You can read her entry here.
  
  
• Around 11 o'clock, met L's other boyfriend whom we call, KXYX and dashed off to Bourbon Street. I knew there was a small chance that I would run into J so I spent more time than normal making sure This Man was pulled together and looking great. And sure that one guy outside of Bourbon Street didn't recognize that it Jimmy Hendrix on my tee shirt and practically believe it when This Man told him that it was Lauryn Hill, but my jeans fit right, the shoes worked and I had a killer smile working for me! (Really, I did!)
• I didn't run into J at Bourbon, but I did run into his friends and they were just as happy to see me as I was to see them. K and H are one of the nicest couples I've ever met and just watching the way they are with each other kinda makes This Man optimistic about finding someone eventually and spending 7+ years with him. So after getting caught up on what's been going on, the conversation did move to J and what happened on that dreadful night (see The Gift and the Curse). And I know This Man probably broke several rules of gay protocol by even hanging out with the friends of a guy that I was with, but they are nice and I enjoyed their company. I'm also sure that I broke another gay mans' rule by talking about what happened between J and me and explaining everything from my perspective.
• Hung out with K and H and some of their friends, drinking and standing around (Did I mention that Bourbon Street is a S& M bar--stand and model).
  
• It was as everyone was leaving and we were still standing, modeling & talking that I met the sexy and hot Latin named M. With a killer smile, awesome pecs and a hand that stayed on This Man's ass, M had This Man won over before he even got to say hello. Here's the crazy part, he was into me too--oh, and he was with someone! Fortunately, they were just friends, he explained and that it was nothing. It didn't matter because I was loving the eye contact and even I, who usually has a permanent scowl planted on my grille was beaming from ear to ear. K and H noticed it right away and they weren't surprised when, after groping M's chest while he gropped This Man's ass, I practically begged H to get his number for me. I was definitely interested. (I'm hoping to get that number this week and definitely set something up.)
• Bourbon closed shortly after one and This Man dashed across town to Rich's. I was already on a kick and the last thing I wanted to do was call it a night. Got to Rich's and buddied up with the bartender, who kept the drinks flowing. Rich's was packed and This Man was smashed! I saw my favorite Muscle-Asian- GoGo Boy-fuckbuddy grinding to the hard music. Downed another Bombay Sapphire & Red Bull. Closed out Rich's, grabbed some quesadillas at La Fuente, met an awesome guy from Poland and finally, got up and headed home.
• Well, This Man did make it home in one piece! L's company had left and I was about to chat with her for a while but her tired ass was sleepy. So who better to take a cue from, right? This Man finally after all of that, laid down and collapsed into a deep somber.

Mahalo
(these pics are clearly the result of what happens when This Man is allowed to run wild in ZGallerie unsupervised---you should see the ones that I didn't publish)